‘Tis Tuesday, and I have weathered another chemo treatment. I have some residual nausea, but am coming out of the deep dark hole. I look forward to the weeks ahead as my health and energy continues to improve. We will spend Thanksgiving in Knoxville this year with Gordon’s “side” of the family…a nice treat to be together as a family for an extended length of time.
We have had no house showings since the last. I am patient.
Halloween was fun. I included a few pics. Jack helped me take the little ones door to door (thank goodness), for surely I would have lost someone without him. He is a great support to me.
I have been very nostalgic lately….maybe because it is “the season,” or maybe I have more time and more things to think about. Anyway, I remember when my father was ill with cancer. When undergoing treatment, he stayed in the bed most of the time unless made to get up. He spoke of fatigue, and the taste of metal in his mouth. He reflected on how busy everyone was, and that folks did not stop to talk, reflect, remember, and make memories. At the time, I was working full time-as was Gordon, with two small children. We were “busy” not only with self care, child care, but also the care of my dad.
I do not like feeling sick and tired, and yet feel blessed in a way. I am given this time of reflection…this time when I start to feel better, and yet am too weak to move and act and do. I dare not watch television…yikes! But I watch and listen, to my family as they scramble about the house – doing. I watch and pet my dogs and cat. I hear and see with uncluttered keenness for I have no agenda…at least none that I can do at this time. I treasure all that is around me and feel happy and peaceful. Since I have had cancer, I do this more often. I try to do nothing; mark things off my list. I sit and watch and enjoy……, or actively participate in my children’s “nothingness.” I call others and check in. I too write notes or cards for “no reason.” Get crazy!
I look forward to the holidays. My dr. says that I have one more chemo, and then a scan. If the tumors have shrunk, then we will continue with more treatments of the same chemo regimen. If there is no change, or they have grown…I will be given another chemo to try. So far, so good, for today.
Love to all.