Hello all this is Gordon,

I am going to do my best to fill the role as facilitator of this site.  Peri has passed the torch to me to keep all of you updated on her current condition.

First of all, let me say a heartfelt THANK YOU to each and every one of you for your unbelievable outpouring of love and generosity to Peri, myself and our children.  It is a true testament to Peri and to what kind of person she is.  I told Jack. a couple of years ago, to pay close attention to how people are treating his mom while she is sick.  I told him that this is proof that being kind to others will only prove positive back on you in the long run.  Peri has done more for others than anyone I have ever known.  The love and support she has received, and is still receiving, confirms the statement that I made to Jack.  I thank you all again for your love of Peri.

Now for the update.  Since her last post, we have had another setback. Saturday the 21st she became quite ill and was in extreme pain.  I took her to the ER and they got her comfortable via IV pain meds and nausea meds.  She was unable to take these orally and keep down at home.  They admitted her to the hospital.  She had a CT scan at 4AM Sunday the 22nd.  The scan showed that her cancer has spread into her intestines and is causing blockage.  Obviously, this is not good!     They are now trying to get things to clear so that we do not have to try surgery.  Surgery is our last option that we want to take.  That being said, Peri is being kept as comfortable as possible, and we are playing the waiting game now.  Everything is on hold till we see what happens with this.

Hopefully, Peri will be proud of my choice of words with all of this.  She has told me that  I tend to use words that are not appropriate for all to hear.  You can only imagine where one can go in a conversation about this particular subject.  I have put my filter on!

Anyway, I will try my best to keep all of you informed moving forward from here.  I am not as good at this, as well as many other things, as Peri is.  Please bare with me as I try.  The main thing I can ask of you is to keep praying for my sweet, sweet Peri.  She is my Wonder Woman….

It is great to be home. Saralene came up this week and has taken the bull by the horns. I have passed the home manager baton, and she has grabbed it running. We are so lucky to have a loving “grandma” who can come in and whip things into shape. It allows me to be with the children for little snippets of time based on how I am feeling, but not be responsible for anything really. Aunt Donna came over today and Taylor drove in for a visit. The children are enjoying the “surprise” visitors, and I am in want of nothing.

Pain is still being managed well and fluid is present but stable. I appreciate all of your prayers and guest entries. It is as if I hear your voice as I read the words you’ve written. I will go for chemo #2 next Wednesday. Otherwise, all is going pretty well.

Talk to you soon. Xoxo Peri

I was able to secure an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday. He too was concerned with the size of my belly and the fact that the fluid had returned so quickly.  He had my report back and was able to name which chemo would be best to fight my specific type of cancer cell. We also discussed alternative treatment options versus conventional medicine. Gordon, myself and the doc decided we needed to move quickly and aggressively to remove the fluid and keep it at bay (which meant attacking the cancer cells now!). I was admitted to the hospital. and was scheduled for an immediate paracentesis. This time they drew 3 liters of fluid. They put me on pain meds and got me comfortable. Today, Wednesday, I have started my first round of chemo. I will probably go home tomorrow, and will receive treatment 1x/week for three weeks as an outpatient. Then we will evaluate whether the chemo is working “basically is it reducing the fluid build up in my abdomen?” I said I wanted to continue to explore alternative options. My Doctor, based on my history and multiple recurrance of my cancer, is open to considering all and every possibility.  I am glad that we are just doing something! I am glad that the fluid is reduced and that my pain is being managed. I will be glad to get back home and be less “sick” in the company of my loving family (and dogs). And in reading back over this, I sound like a reporting robot. I am on a lot of meds :/….so will close for now. Love to all. Peri

I am spittin’ mad is all I can say.  I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I guess I heard incorrectly (which I usually do) that the “plan” would be revealed in two weeks.  Following my biopsy, two weeks later, it was confirmed that yes…this is the same cancer I have had that has returned to the same location.  I do not mean to sound callous because indeed this is helpful information.  No assumptions made in fighting this thing.  Dr. Num Num wants to be very specific in what he is dealing with.  THEN, the results were sent for a sensitivity test to determine which chemo(s) would best fight my specific type of cancer….about another two week wait.  While “waiting” my stomach started to swell.  Gordon reminded me that due to the location of my cancer…fluid retention often occurs….and so it goes.  Gordon had to go out of town for work, and I held on.  The day after he got back, he accompanied me for a paracentesis procedure (to drain the fluid from my abdomen).  They were able to draw 5 liters.  EEeewww.  I was so excited to have the procedure because it was getting pretty painful and it was difficult to take a deep breath.  I felt immediate relief, but then later that day, had pain and cramping as my abdomen attempted to put itself back together minus all of the fluid and pressure. That was just yesterday. Now one day later, my abdomen is filling up again. OOoooohhhh, I am so mad.  I hate this cancer.  I had this lofty thinking that I would go in there and get the fluid removed, and I could start doing sit ups to get my stomach back to normal size!  I have felt self conscious looking six months pregnant, definitely minus the bliss of expecting a sweet baby.  When I was pregnant, I didn’t mind so much not being able to bend over, see my feet, put on my shoes, etc….because the “pay off” was pure blessing.  This sitch…not so much.

My sensitivity report is finally in by the way.  I spoke to the nurse yesterday, and I am scheduled to see the doctor next Friday the 20th.  (This is the earliest he has because he is booked with surgery).  Believe you me, I am going to be in there Monday morning to see the nurse and request something sooner.  I do NOT want to undergo another belly draining procedure thank you very much.

Now then, I feel better.  Even though I do get mad at times, I just can’t stay mad.  Why?  Because I just can’t get over how good I have it.  My blessings are so numerous I cannot even name them all.  I have such a wonderful incredible life, and despite this set back, I love the rest of my life so much.  Each morning I thank God for all that He has and is giving to me.  I ask for His help, to first….never forget these blessings, and two….to be healed.  It is so simple.  Thank you  God and please help me….and it works.  Crazy.  This is the true miracle in my life.

I will let you know something next week as soon as I know something.  I have also been exploring some alternative treatment opportunities that may benefit me as well.  It is great to have options.

Thank you thank you to those of you who have called, written, and/or posted on this site.  Your words and prayers continue to lift my spirits.

Love you all bunches.

Peri

Bon Jour mi ami

Clayton and I found one of Taylor’s french speaking dolls so we have been brushing up on our french…poorly I might add.  His favorite word is bleu.  Sounds more like bluh. haha.

Anyhoo.  Things are going along here.  We are moved in thanks to the many helpers.  Donna and Gordon came early to “set up house” so when I arrived with the children, the house was functional.  Grandy soon followed to help with decor.  I do NOT have a knack for where to hang, arrange, etc…and she is my Martha Stewart.  My mom came to visit and we spent hours in one cavernous, junky antique store.  It was a good time talking and reflecting.

The whole family able to go on one last hurrah to the lake with my college friend Karen.  It is a trip that we have been planning for a year or so and it finally happened.  What a miracle!  Seeing my long time good friend was like a dream.  I love her, and so did my family.  She set up a visit to her family lake house and we were in heaven.  Our family loves the outdoors and the water.  We inner tubed, fished, cooked family meals, the boys played golf, I napped :).  We couldn’t have asked for a better vacation, and it gave us a sense of place and togetherness before taking the plunge into new schools.

Yes, school has started and everyone is doing well.  Jack was slow to start, still mourning for his old school and friends…but he is slowly adjusting and meeting a few folks.  Yesterday he went to a friend’s to play basketball…always a good segue.  He has met the baseball coaches, and plans to try out for the team.  Clayton is doing outstanding!  He goes to school with Emma Kate and George.  He is in the fourth grade and has a full time attendant.  Communication is awesome, and they all love Clayton.  Emma Kate is soon to start guitar lessons, and George has started fall baseball.  His team is the MudCats :).

Our neighborhood? Frankly, I cannot believe how well we have taken to this place.  The set up is altogether different.  We live in a community where the children can come and go to each others’ houses without care.  The back of our house opens up into a shady common area with a playground, sandpit, gazebo, and bike trail…yet it is distant enough to not be invasive.  The kids go out our screen porch (YES!) and can go find a playmate at whim.  We put child proof handles on the doors to keep Clayton safe.  Yet, I can shoot out with him to play and it is all within walking distance (and our bathroom).

We are attending a church called Fellowship Bible Church.  It is the church that the Freeman Family attended, and we thought we would give it a go.  It is nondenominational and BIG….quite a switch from Balmoral.  We like it and they have a buddy program for children with special needs.  They have three services on Sunday, and the format is contemporary worship music followed by Bible study sermon.  The congregation is young.  The kids go to children’s worship/education until 12yo. It is in a separate building.  They like it too.  I volunteer in the buddy program (the least I can do in return for the love and devotion they show to Clayton), and am paired with a child with autism.  He is cute, loving, and has a few challenges just like Clayton…a perfect match for me I think.

Friends?  I am meeting some (one :)).  I have become quite fond of a family down the street.  The Petaks.  We are “fit” for one another.  Heidi (mom) and Brian have four boys ages 4-12.  They play well with our little ones.  They go to the same elementary school and the same church.  Heidi is great, laid back, and is comfortable to be with.  I am blessed to come to know her, and we support one another with the kids.  Yea!

Taylor is doing well with school, and is enrolled again at the U of M this semester for 12 hours.  She is also continuing to work at Flight restaurant downtown, working a lot of hours I might say.  She is busy, and holding her own.  I am very proud of her.

Ok…the news you have all been waiting for….
My cancer is back.  I knew it actually.  I met my oncologist here and he offered up a plan to wait until the end of September for another scan.  This would give me a full three months from my last scan to recheck.  Yet, I knew something wasn’t quite right.  When we returned from the lake…I was having slight pain.  With time the pain increased and the bloating started. I let my sweet, great, attentive, conscientious Dr. Numnum (yes this is his name) know, and he ordered blood work and a CTscan right away.  Lo and behold the scan and blood work indicated a cancer return.  The plan:  This past Monday I had a liver biopsy (actually surface of my liver and surrounding lining).  It went well, and the tissue is being sent off.  The report should be back in about two weeks, and the report should indicate the “best” chemo to combat my specific cancer cells.  Ahhh the gift of science.  This is supposedly the latest and greatest in cancer treatment so I am all a go.

Feelings?  Physically I am slowed but functional.  Of course the day after the biopsy I went physically over board to cope with the emotional duress of it all.  Not a good plan.  So today, I am taking is slow and catching up on my correspondence if you will.  Emotional, as stated, I am grateful to have God and friends.  I MISS ALL OF YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH and I really miss my cat Shadow too.  If not for God and Heidi, I would be losing it.  And I am taking it in stride.  I like my life here and I REALLY like living with my husband.  Gordon is great through it all, and I do so enjoy his company.  He truly is my best friend.

Hugs and kisses to all.  This is way too long.

Will keep in touch.  COME SEE ME.  I AM USUALLY AT HOME 🙂 and we are definitely a drop in kind of family with plenty of room and food.

Over and out, Peri

I have returned from JH Ranch, and it was truly the experience of a lifetime.  A special thanks to all of you who sponsored me to go!!  I will fill you in on the details at a later time (and add pics).

Shadow found a wonderful home with my friends from church, Gary and Margaret.  I am forever grateful.  She is doing really well in her new abode.

This week has been crazy.  Thanks to all of you who helped us pack.  As of today, we are out of the Memphis residence.  The kids and I are staying with Saralene (Grandy) through Sunday morning, and then we are leaving for Nolensville, TN (our new residence).  Crazy!!

Today, I had a scan and it revealed n.e.d.  Can you believe it Dave?!? No evidence of disease!!!  I have 2-3 months of chemo vacation, and I will then transfer my care to an oncologist in my area.  I am SO EXCITED.  I can only hope my next scan is “clean” as well.

I will miss all of my Memphis family and friends AND I will be back to visit.  Hugs and kisses to all.

Sincerely,

Peri

Wow.  Everything is happening so fast.  Clayton, Emma Kate and I just finished Theater Camp and I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it was.  Clayton did awesome, performing with his “new” friends.

Jack and I leave today on our trip to JH (thanks to my most awesome sister in law Cecilia, and all of you who assisted with donations).  I feel like it is not even real.  It is a dream come true.  This trip has been planned for a long time, far before our house sold. We are SO excited, but our being gone for a whole week does add to the “hecticness” of moving. Our return flight arrives @ 8am Monday the 17th. (Gotta love the “red eye” travel).  Gordon leaves that same morning out of town.  THE MOVING TRUCK COMES THE 19th! (Not the best schedule, but movers are busy in the summer).

Ok so I am venting, well dumping…..

Many of you have come forward offering to help me move.  I have a specific request.  If any of you are available to help pack up “what’s left” and help supervise children Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday….let me know.  I could really use the help…not as if you probably don’t have your own “craziness” going on this summer.  Summers tend to be a little busy anyway.

Ok, nuf said.  Love you, love you. Talk to you when I get back.

Peri

Hi guys.

• I will not get a scan this Friday. It is rescheduled for Friday June 21.
• We did get the house in Nolensville!! Yea!!! We have to be out of this house on June 21.
• I have not found anyone to adopt my kitty Shadow.  Please put out your “reachers” and “feelers.”  Your help is GREATLY appreciated.  I really do not want Shadow to go to a rescue shelter.  I would love for her to go to a loving home.  She is such a sweet cat.
• Packing is packing, one box at a time.  Thanks Sally, Caroline, Kate, and Keira.
• Love  you guys.  I am leaving soon with Jack to CA.  Catch up to you when I get back.

xoxox Peri

A year ago this month, I was given a ned status, no evidence of disease.  I have come to know that this means that there is no evidence of cancer in your body at this time.  It could be there, but the cancer is so small that it cannot be detected.  It could be gone for today, and still come back in the future.

What I know today is that I have ovarian cancer.  It is small, but it is there.  At my last appointment, my oncologist stated that my cancer is stabilized…no bigger, no smaller.  This report is based upon my last scan.  I had another treatment this past May 17.  It was par for the course, and with the help of my devoted “care team,” I came out okay.  I am scheduled to have another scan on June 7.

It is strange to have this bit of information.  What do you do with it…really?  Cancer is not something I can will away.  I cannot change my diet, exercise plan, or other habits to rid myself of this disease. Yes, I can follow treatment protocols, research options, adhere to healthy lifestyle habits; Yet, I am completely powerless.  This is really true of all of us, but I think that some of us are put in situations which bring this reality front and center.  What can I do about it?  Live! I can live in hope and faith, and in the calling of my Lord.
1 Corinthians 2:5  That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. I am empowered by my God.

Also, a year ago this month, Gordon took a new job.  This position was better for our family for a number of reasons, but it meant we would have to move.  Well, okay.  A tough decision, but the “timing” seemed right.  We were in between school years, no evidence of my cancer, etc. etc….we were all a go!  Sell the house, pack our bags, buy a new house, re-enroll in schools…it was just a matter of completing the checklist. I am very good at this, or so I thought.

Month after month that followed led to unforeseen incidents and challenges.  The house didn’t sell, my cancer came back, Gordon’s job had challenges.  Was it that we weren’t to go after all?  We paused, questioned.  We were patient.  But as time pressed on, we felt also pressed to make a decision.  What do we do? We were afraid of the “what ifs?”  My faith was rocked, my foundation was threatened, and my footing felt shaky.  Usually through prayer, I am able to believe and be patient.  I can continue to take the next indicated step and know that God’s will for me will slowly unfold if I remain faithful and steady. But there was so much to contend with.  It is hard when things pile up.  Which direction do I turn?  What is the right decision, for me? for us? for our family?  There are others to consider, and options to weigh in.  We stacked each piece of evidence in an effort to make the best decision.  Gordon’s work was growing and improving, our house sold, my cancer stabilized.  Ok so we go?  Gordon and I found ourselves trying to predict the future, attempting to “control” the circumstances.  What hit me so hard this time was that I had nothing.  I lost perspective.  I lost sight of God in my life.  I thought I could work hard, accomplish a lot, reach an outcome, and pat myself on the back.  Not this time.  I had nothing.  There was too much to overcome, and I was stuck.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Friends, family and professionals had conflicting opinions as to what we should do.  We had NO “earthly” evidence of confirmation.  We prayed and discerned that we should move..yes a leap of faith. We will rent a house until we can be sure what to buy and where.  On Friday, I met Gordon in the Franklin area to look at available rental houses.  Our real estate agent in Memphis (one of our many angels), Robin, had introduced us to an agent in Franklin, Gwen (a newly found angel). We will find a house, the next indicated step.  The first house was okay…yes a possibility but somewhat disappointing. (Remember that I LOVE our house in Memphis). The second house was much more charming.  We actually met the family at the door, and they remained with us during the showing.  They were a delightful family (mom, dad, 3 beautiful children).

This story gets a little long…but each detail means so much that I want to share it.

As we went about the house, we shared bits of our stories with one  another.  Asking when the house would be available…we discovered that the family would be leaving on June 7; and after some minor repairs the house would be available within the next week.  #1:  We close on the 19th, and must be out by the 21st.  The youngest daughter led me to her room, and we talked about her stuffed animals. #2:  She picked one up and informed me that it was named Emma Kate.  As the mom, daughter and I joined Gordon in the hallway, Gordon excitedly told me that the dad was going to JH Ranch this week. #3 This is the camp where Jack and I are going the same week in June. As we marveled in the coincidences, I shared my cancer struggle and that Jack and I were gifted with the trip by my sister in law. It then became obvious that the mom was flying out on the 7th, to go to JH Ranch.  #4 The parents have worked at JH for the past 7 summers, and are spiritual leaders during the season, and perform as musicians. #5 The house is in our price range and located in a desired site for schools, etc. #6 The dad called the leasing agent and requested that he waive the pet restriction, allowing us to bring our dogs. #7 As we prepared to leave, we all gathered on the back porch, and the couple prayed over me and Gordon…that our move would come without stress or adversity, and that I would be healed entirely of this darned cancer.

The entire experience was so overwhelming.  On two occasions, I could not contain my tears as I felt drenched in God’s mercy and blessing, having put us in the community of this family.  All of us teared up, even Gwen.  The connections continued as I learned that the dad grew up in Montgomery, AL (I was born in Montgomery, AL).  The mom’s best friend just completed chemo for breast cancer, and she felt we would have a lot to share in support of one another.

Needless to say, we asked to rent the house and made plans to sign the papers the Tuesday after the holiday weekend.  If there are no unforeseen glitches, we will rent this house for at least a year.

Well there is already one glitch.  We cannot take our cat.  This is VERY disheartening to me because she has been in our family for 12 years. She was a rescue from our neighborhood in Cooper Young.  We are not huge cat lovers, but I personally have loved this sweet precious kitty for these many years.  It is with a heavy and sad heart that I ask for your help, in putting out the word.  We need a home for our sweet Shadow kitty.  Time is short because we have to be out in a month.  If you, or if you know anyone, please speak up soon.

And now I will close, but will keep you posted.  I start camp with the children on Monday.  Jack and I leave for JH on June 8.  There is so much to share but this is enough, and more, for now.

I love all of you so much!!  Thanks for your prayers and support.

Love, Peri

A time of renewal for me.  This time a year ago I was told that there was no evidence of disease in my body.  It was a good feeling.  Today, I still have good feelings.  I love this time of year.  It is so beautiful here, and for whatever reason (post the birth of Clayton)…I no longer suffer from allergies.  Can you believe it?!?!  Go figure.  A curious gift I will GLADLY accept.  Thus the growth, the greens, the bright colors.  People in Memphis have some great looking yards, and to live so close the Botanic Gardens and all of those cherry blossoms. Simply gorgeous.

Well as mentioned, I received chemo in April and in May.  Thanks to my newly found friend Laurie Ellis, I was able to successfully and effortlessly recruit volunteers to help for the entire week post treatments.  I am still in awe and wonder over people’s generosity.  Yet, I don’t know why, because I also believe that God is good and lives in all of us, if we let Him.  My angelic friends appear at my doorstep with food, flowers (thanks Annie and kids), hugs, energy!!! ideas of fun and games for our children, talents in home care, yard care, child care, pet care.  Early in my recovery, as I attempted to perform these skills independently, maintaining a presence of strength, character, and capability.  What a dummy.  I was just left in my own dust, tired and defeated.  Now, I am uplifted and renewed following each blast of the deadly chemicals that are hopefully saving my life.  Ok, nuf said.  I LOVE you my friends!!!!

I also must speak to my friends who live at a distance.  You are my support line of love and encouragement.  To those of you who cannot be at my doorstep, you travel in my heart with tiny voices saying “you can do this”… thanks to your prayers, cards, calls, emails, gifts, etc. etc. etc. And when you can come in town…you make special time to come see me.  I REALLY appreciate this.  Most recently, I received a visit from a dear friend Jawanda Mast and her daughter Rachel.  I met Jawanda after I had Clayton, as she was the Director of the Down Syndrome Assn. of Midsouth.  She was a great support to me then, as she continues to be now, from St. Louis.  We had a great “catch up,” and many laughs.  I also received a fun visit from the Lehfeldts, although we missed Hannah Beth (she was swimming with the Dolphins with her Gran…yes literally!).  Check out the photos.  We ate, laughed and and just hung out.  My kind of visit.

After chemo this past Friday, I “awoke” Wednesday, finally feeling the wherewithall to shower and put on clothes.  Nice, hunh?  Any way…as I was returning from driving the children to school, I was sitting in the turn lane waiting for the light to change.  The intersection was busy, with six lanes both ways, and designated turn lanes.  I watched the faces of SO many people driving by, wondering what they were thinking? where were they going, and what was their major purpose?  Some were laughing, some looked solemn, driven, sad, irritated.  All seemed busy, I guess by the speed at which they traveled past my car.  I had time for only a glimpse.  I considered where I was in space and time, and how there were so many people, with so many things to do.  Then, I realized that 1) I had been in seclusion for too long, 2) had too much time on my hands, and 3) most importantly, looked at things differently.  I often find myself very present in my situation.  And this is very hard with a “chemo brain!”  At times I feel loopy and asea with confusion.  But I do take TIME, to ponder, reflect, feel where my feet are planted, and consider with GREAT gratitude, the gifts that I have and continue to receive.  When I share this with others, my take is that this is a result of my battle with cancer.  So, the point of this…how cool in that I can even see the gift of my cancer journey.  It gives me a new and valued way to look at, and feel about, my life, and I love it!  my life that is.  I DEFINITELY do not love the cancer…and thanks just the same, maybe I could have learned this lesson another way?  Oh well, I accept it.

Don’t forget to check in with me, let me know how you’re doing, what’s up for summer, etc. etc.  I will check back in mid May, after my next stinkin’ dreaded nauseating frowny face I could just get so mad chemo!

Love you guys!!!!  Peri