Hi guys.  Checking in after a long summer hiatus.  It really has been a great time.

In May, shortly after my last entry…Gordon accepted a new job with another company.  He is still in dental sales, but now with Benco Dental.  This new position means that our family will re-locate.  His territory is in East Tennessee.  Our house in on the market, and we were hoping to move this summer.  Yet, no deal.  So…..after packing many boxes, and prepping our house for “show,” we got busy.  Gordon had to start the job right away, so he stays gone Monday-Friday, and comes home on the weekends.  This job is what our family needed…I will leave it at that.

So with the summer ahead of us, and not being able to travel, the kids and I decided to do the “camp thing.”

This was our first year to attend camp as a family, and it was Madonna Learning Center’s first year to hold a summer long camp.  I must say that it was a God given gift for us all.  Camp Fly High is a camp for children and adults with special needs.  I worked as a lead counselor, and Jack served as a volunteer assistant.  Clayton attended as a camper, and Emma Kate and George attended as “typical peers,” children without special needs (they were the only two peers by the way, and it didn’t phase them one bit!)  We had a blast and worked our booties off.  This time for me was so mentally, physically and spiritually fulfilling for a number of reasons:  To be with my family all day, every day; to work and play with folks with disabilities; to put my skills/experience to use in a recreation environment….truly a dream come true.  Having been limited, and out of commission for so long, this meant so much to me.

As the summer pushed on, it became evident that we were not moving right away (no sale of the house).  I enrolled the children in school here in Memphis.  They were ready to get started back, and I believe glad to be in a familiar environment.  With everyone in school during the week days, I started taking care of “busy-ness.”

Getting right to the heart of the matter, I had been experiencing a dull pain in my side on and off for a month (sounds too familiar), but felt it to be scar tissue pain.  A small lump developed in my neck, so I went to my primary care physician.  My bloodwork was normal, and the lump went away.  No other symptoms really.  I followed up with the oncologist.  He did a CT scan just to rule out anything, and darn it all!!! My cancer is back.  After a biopsy this past Wednesday, this was only confirmed yesterday.

It is still ovarian cancer, stage 3-c.  Basically the same cancer returning.  It is visible on the surface of my liver, diaphragm, and there is shadowing in my lower pelvis.  These were present at the time of my initial diagnosis, but treatment diminished evidence.  So, whether the cancer actually was killed and returned…or whether it was only masked by the Avastin (retardant), it is not certain.

Therefore, a new treatment regimen is prescribed.  I will begin a combination of carboplatin and doxil on Friday, Sept. 8.  I will get treatments every 4 weeks.  I will undergo four treatments, and then another scan.  Before you begin mapping out the time frame, know that with any chemo….complications may occur which will then change the plan.  This is only the plan for now.

Some of you already “heard the rumor” about the return of my cancer.  You have been so dear to offer help.  I cannot say what my needs are until I begin chemo and see the outcome.  I am aware of the possible side effects and have the immediate care of my family available to me.  I will surely keep you posted as needs arise.

You have all been so good to me.  This is a lot to take in all at once.  I feel confident that I can conquer this again with your support.  This cancer trip is a team effort.  I am so glad to have all of you on my team.

Much love always!!! I will stay in touch.

Peri

Hi guys, friends, rowmans, countrywomen, etc……

I just returned from the doctor’s office, and I received a CLEAN bill of health.  Yes, you heard it folks…I am cancer “free.”  I have been given the ned status (no evidence of disease).

I am going in next Friday to meet with the genetic counselor, and to be tested for breast cancer markers.  It is always something, isn’t it.  It seems that now, as an ovarian cancer survivor, I am more likely to get breast cancer – particularly if I am positive for the markers.  I think I will just hang on to the current news for now.

My thanks and blessings go out to ALL of you.  You have truly traveled with me on this journey, and I am eternally grateful.  Your love and support has carried me through.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I love all of you.

Peri

**check out some new pics!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Valentime’s Day!!!

Where have I been?

I am here to tell you that no news is good news.  In my improved health, I have taken on more “jobs” than I know what to do with!!!  This is good for me.  Yes it is challenging and sometimes seems insurmountable…but one day at a time folks.  Right?  In my world, NOTHING is forever.  My lesson is that each moment counts.  I wake each day saying “Today is a gift.  Thank you God. May I live as you would want me to, and do the best that I can.”….except when I get too busy and ahead of myself.  Then I forget God :(.  But soon I regroup, and get back on track in a day or so.  Life is good, and God is good.

As for my health.  I have three more rounds of chemo.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!  I will finish up in mid April, and then go to 3 month exams, blood markers, scans, etc. to monitor my NO cancer!  I am so blessed and hope I can stay cancer free for years to come.

My dream.  To work with children with disabilities.  I was recently able to gain my re-certification in therapeutic recreation.  Yes!  I passed the exam! I will just put this out there, not to jinx my chances.  I want to work at Madonna Learning Center.  It is the school where my son Clayton attends.  I was recently given the opportunity to volunteer for a week working with Group 1 (the young children).  I had the time of my life.  I was so fulfilled, and hope that my service was helpful.  Please pray for me to find work that is well suited for talents, and matches my time availability.  And if Madonna is where this is possible, please pray that this works for me!!

I am attaching some new recent pics.  We celebrated 3 birthdays in February.  Mine (48yo) and Clayton’s (9yo) was on Feb 4, and Emma Kate’s (7yo) is coming up on the 23rd!

Also, my sweet friends the Weavers came to visit over the holidays.  They were back in the states from India, and it was a dream come true to be able to see them.

Hope all of you are well, and as always.  Thanks for your love and prayers.

Thanks to Patty M, and Janet Z, and Jawanda M, who keep seeking me out, and reminding me that I need to check in.  I love you all.

Sincerely,

Peri

SSSsssssoooorrrrrryyyyy.

It has taken me so long to log in my journal.  I told you guys that I would update shortly after my last scan.  Let me begin with the great news.  I had yet another “clean” scan.

You would think that I would report this news promptly, but we had a family mishap that diverted our attention.  Our dear young friend Cody, 14yo boy, who stays with us quite a bit.  He goes to school with Jack and has a troubled family…Anyway.  He was hit by a truck while crossing the street in front of our house.  It was horrible.  Luckily, he only suffered a fractured (or should I say shattered) femur.  The accident was witnessed by myself, Jack, and our younger son Clayton.  It was very upsetting and has taken much of our attention here recently.  Cody has been recovering nicely and is back at school on crutches.  He is a brave and determined young man.

Also time consuming… I have gone back to work part-time.  The economy is hard and sales are slow.  I am not certified at this time in my profession, so I started cleaning houses.  Business has grown quickly and I am working a lot of hours while the kids are at school.  It is good fast money and allows the flexibility to arrange my schedule as needed.  It is laborious too though and takes a toil on me sometimes.  I will sit for my certification exam in Jan, and hopefully this will open up better job options.

I have been experiencing some neuropathy, and more recently neck pain and stiffness.  In addition to the pain in my hands and feet, an MRI indicated cervical disc degenerations, spinal stenosis and arthritis in my neck.  I am planning to schedule physical therapy after the Christmas break and this should help to alleviate the pain and immobility.

Speaking of Christmas, we plan to stay here in Memphis.  As some of you know…Gordon lost his father not too far back.  We will enjoy spending time with his family, cherishing the memory and remorsing the loss of our dear “Dat!”  We all loved him so and surely miss him!

Gordon and I continue to be faithful along our path.  We have so many good friends and loving family members.  Despite some woes, we have so much to be grateful for.  I hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving.

I pray that you all hold God in your heart, and may you carry His love with you…keeping you joyful and strong in whatever comes your way.

Merry Christmas to you all!

Love,
Peri

Hi.  How is everyone?  Tell me about your Thanksgiving!  We went to Knoxville this year, a first.  It was awesome.  Gordon’s sister (Donna) & aunt and uncle (Nancy and Gordon) live there.  We had a delicious fairy tale feast thanks to Saralene “Grandy.”  We all ate way too much.  Thomas, Missy, and Carmen came, and a few of Carmen’s college friends.  The only missing one was Taylor…she had to work :(.  We visited Nancy and Gordon’s beautiful home with mountain views, barn, horses, dogs…We had another feast, and went on a walk about the property.  Simply breath taking!  Saturday we went to the UT game.  Donna landed us a skybox, so all of us could go on a cold day.  Climate controlled stadium seating with a choice of foods and drinks!!  The land of “important” people.  I felt privileged.  AND UT WON!!  I drove home Sunday without Gordon and that was the roughest part.  It was so good to see him for so many days in a row, without work and chores to do.  I treasure all of the memories of this time.  I pray that all of you had a nice Thanksgiving too, and would love to hear about it.

There are times when many of you have shared your woes, only to follow with ….”I am so sorry.  Here I am complaining, with all that you are going through.”  I have never been one to merit or rate pain and suffering.  Everyone’s is real, no matter how big or small.   Most of the time I have a really good attitude about everything, and when down, I can quickly redirect myself through pray, friends, chores, reading, and crossword puzzles :).  Well, I have been worried about my cancer lately.  I feel that it is getting bigger.  I am tired of having cancer, and going though treatment.  I feel overwhelmed with the idea of having cancer, being without Gordon so much of the time, wanting to sell the house while thinking about what I can do to help it sell. I can’t do everything I want to do because I am tired.  I have to only do some things, which usually means “the basics.”  I can’t do anything to my usual standard, so to me…it is mediocre and I just “settle” for what it is.  Blah, blah, blah…and then my thoughts take me to…”HOW can you complain when your life is so good?”  There are folks out there who are alone for Thanksgiving, who are really dying from cancer, who are imprisoned, running for their lives, enduring abuse…the list goes on.  My complaining is not worthy.  Ok enough.  It is ok to be “over it!”  I am trying to be true to my feelings and fatigue, and not judge them.  I am trying to allow them to surface, and give them the time they need to process.  I am trying to face my fear and worry, and walk through it …not stuff it.  As I say, I am trying.  I continue to engage in simple acts of service and kindness to the best of my ability…the true restorative strategy to get my mind off my own obsessions, on over to someone else’s needs.  It is not that I am totally ignoring myself, it just helps me not to obsess.  It helps, and I get the good feeling of helping someone else.

This week, my counts were down.  I had three shots to my stomach to bring them to levels to be able to receive my chemo.  I had chemo yesterday, and it went well.  I saw the doctor too.  The big news:  MY CA125 is back to normal range.  This means that my cancer is probably shrinking and that I am doing better!! I am moderately excited.  Why not ecstatic?  The treatment continues.  Here’s the plan.  Scan in January.  Two more treatments (4 weeks apart), and then another scan.  If no presence of disease, we will stop chemo and continue to check my CA125 levels, possibly scan to monitor absence or growth of cancer.  If cancer is still present, I will have two-four more treatments and scan again.  Either way…I just can’t get my head around this being a “long term” disease.  I know that there are many women out there who fought for years, and reached a cancer free status and have had many years cancer free.  I just want to be there NOW.  Impatient, tired, and over it.  My doctor asked if presently, my quality of life is good?  Yes, it is.  So what am I complaining about????  Well, as stated before.  No measure of worth, my fear and worry and fatigue is real, and I am sick of dealing with it.  There.  I own my feelings.

Told you I was going to rant.  Thanks for listening, my dear friends.  Hopefully next time, I will be my encouraged, sun shiney self.  But for now, I await the ills of post chemo nausea and lethargy…and not with a good attitude.  I love you guys so much.  Thanks for being there for me…ALWAYS.  With your help and support, I will continue to get through this.

Until the next time,

Peri

Hi everybody.  I have passed through the storm.  Uhhhggg.  Chemo can make you feel  si-ick.  Friday was okay.  Saturday morning, I was hit down hard and stayed medicated through Sunday evening.  By Monday morning, I could begin to see the light.  YEA!!  Now I know, perhaps, what to expect the next time.

Many of you have asked how you can be of help.  I cannot begin to express my gratitude.  You are all so kind and generous!!  So if you want,  here’s the help I need.

1) You could come by and help engage the children.  After school homework?  Serve up dinner (and eat with us!), Bath and book time?  Making lunches for the next day?  I CAN do it, AND the extra help is a treat for me and the kids.  I am tired and it takes great energy to meet the demand. 🙂

2) Meals are always good.  We like most anything.

3) Come by and visit.  I will choose not to get out much because my immune system is compromised.  If you are well, come see me sometime :).

4) Select a chore of choice.  Make a bed.  Vacuum a carpet.  I’m not proud.  We are still trying to sell the house, and keeping it tidy is a full-time job.

I should improve with time (until the next time).  My family really pulled me through this weekend, allowing me to stay in bed to recover.  I am so blessed.  Currently I have lethargy and pain – totally manageable!!  I can do my daily routine without outside help, and for this I am SO grateful.  But as stated, many of you ask and desire to help….so here you have it!

I love ALL of you so much.  I know in my heart that I have a full team of players on my side.  This is not a solo job.  It is heart warming and reassuring to know that you guys have got my back.

Thank God for allowing me to be humble and vulnerable, for those who know me best, know this to be a tough task.

Psalm 18:32-34  the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer  and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

I am positioning myself for “battle;” I will claim victory over this evil cancer!

With your and God’s help,

Peri

Just wanted to update you on Jodi!  This is her recent email to me:

Dear friends,

I just got a phone call from my dermatologist in Dubai, and he told me that the pathology report came back showing that he got all of the melanoma out.  I’m clean!

 Have I mentioned how incredible our God is?  J

 Peace (and joy, and thankfulness), Jodi

God is good.  Thank you for your prayers.  I have continued to hear so many stories this week, of good and bad.  God is with me through all of it.  Not that I always remember to speak to God and verbally give thanks to the incredible ways that I am taken care of….but (when I pay attention) I ALWAYS see God in the faces and voices of others.  I can see God in the way people look at me, when they talk to me, what they say..and how they behave (particularly my children; they are so beautiful and cute).   I am surrounded by such good people and I am so blessed.  And for this, YES, I am immensely grateful.  Thanks to all for you for sticking with me, even when I didn’t feel up to dealing with myself.

Sincerely,

Peri

Dear friends,

My friend Jodi whose family has been living in a number of countries and locations, providing service and medical assistance to so many, has now found a melanoma on her cheek.  It is a melanoma that is confined to the skin.  Tomorrow (Monday) she will be having the lesion completely removed.  It will be sent to the pathologist to check that the melanoma hasn’t spread outside of the lesion itself.  Please pray tonight right before you go to bed, that the surgery goes successfully and the cancerous place is entirely removed.

I have shared with Jodi my experience and my belief in the power of prayer.  I know that God will be with her family no matter the outcome.  I have so appreciated your support and love.  Jodi, her husband Brent, and her two gorgeous boys are very special to me.

Sincerely,

Peri

I was speaking with my mother, pondering…”I wonder what happened.  I just haven’t felt like writing in my caring bridge.”  My mother replied, “Summer happened!”

‘Tis true.  Having the children at home this summer has been a blessing and an incredible journey.  We have been very busy, and I am so grateful that I have felt up to the adventure.  Each child participated in at least one camp or youth trip.  We visited family and friends.  It was great fun!  There have also been tests of faith that come in the course of life.  My sister in law Cecilia lost her nephew (Nick) unexpectedly (age 21), and it was a real blow to the family!  And, we recently lost Gordon’s father, “Dat.”  He was the true patriarch of our family and we are crushed by his unexpected death.  He will truly be missed.

Now the children are back in school and I am more structured in my time.  I recently had another scan and AGAIN there is no evidence of cancer.  Yea.  We are all so excited with this good news.  It is strange how life can bring both elation and pain that tears at your very soul.  I am glad that God is in my life for all of it.  My faith in Him helps me to recognize my blessings, and gives me strength and courage to live the life He would want for me.

My journey continues.  I will receive chemotherapy for approximately 30 more weeks (1x every 3 weeks).  It continues to leave me fatigued, and the shots for WBC production leave me achy and weary.  AND, I have the strength and energy to participate in life knowing that I have been given a second chance for now.  Things are looking so positive and I must seize the day (each and every one) while I have the chance.  A brush with death has done that to me.  I now see my world so differently.

It is beyond words that I express my love and gratitude for each and everyone of you.  You pray for me, write to me, call me, hug me…I am lifted up by your kindness and encouragement.  Thank you my family and friends.

Thank you Jon for your support, to continue this journal.  I am very sorry about Suzanne, your beautiful wife.  I know you miss her. Hang in there.  Hugs to you.

Sincerely,

Peri